Towards the call of self....my endless writhe for veracity !!

By the deserted banks of the silent river,
as the twilight touches up with the stars
and my absolute attendance is blurred to a reality,
more outlying and virtual ,
thoughts ‘bout the bygones and the times to come
rush to stampede my psyche.
And that lost eternity, that forgotten world,
still pregnant with emotions unbridled,
haul me like an ever engulfing quagmire.
Clutches and embraces me unyielding….
An embrace that I want to let go of ;
An embrace that incarcerates my own little hamlet
within this world.

This state of ceaseless ambivalence
never fails to play havoc in its own right.
I am wedged at two discrete paths, not even once treaded.
The sky is callously assiduous in its questioning…
The ground beneath these feet asks
if I even know the answers.
In the interim, time scribbles inexorably
on the pages of my life…..
like it does on the open books,
overlooking the text inside,
reducing my subsistence to that of an incongruous entity.

In an edgy craving for the story to unfold its meaning,
battling the violent inferno within never came easy.
All smothered as the prisoner of past,
the knight in me braves every vile bluster…..
but succumbs at the hands of the “fine player“.
Endeavors to gather itself again,
on its hemorrhaged feet…
just to end up falling on the scathed knees.

Time and again, it happened…
Time after time, it again would……..!!!
Yet, just a mere fact,
of being the perpetual warrior, confers the much requisite pulse,
makes up for the emotional paucity deep within,
and fills to brim, my tranquil depths !!


Regrets I’ve had a few, but very few to mention.
Promises I did make, to let the tears subside….
There is a door I have closed for the final time.
There is a mirror that has looked its last on me.
And like the uninhibited flowing river,
I would never cross the same path again !!!

Life comes a full circle, like always,
And I turn back, just to ponder….

If only,
I would’ve known that it’s alright to be myself.
If only,
I would’ve let my faith be bigger than my fears.
If only,
I would’ve been all ears to the soft whispers of the fathomless silence.
If only,
I would’ve heeded the fact that the past is gone and the future is not yet….

I know,
I would’ve breathed in life…..
And would’ve been madly alive !!!!