Towards the call of self....my endless writhe for veracity !!

By the deserted banks of the silent river,
as the twilight touches up with the stars
and my absolute attendance is blurred to a reality,
more outlying and virtual ,
thoughts ‘bout the bygones and the times to come
rush to stampede my psyche.
And that lost eternity, that forgotten world,
still pregnant with emotions unbridled,
haul me like an ever engulfing quagmire.
Clutches and embraces me unyielding….
An embrace that I want to let go of ;
An embrace that incarcerates my own little hamlet
within this world.

This state of ceaseless ambivalence
never fails to play havoc in its own right.
I am wedged at two discrete paths, not even once treaded.
The sky is callously assiduous in its questioning…
The ground beneath these feet asks
if I even know the answers.
In the interim, time scribbles inexorably
on the pages of my life…..
like it does on the open books,
overlooking the text inside,
reducing my subsistence to that of an incongruous entity.

In an edgy craving for the story to unfold its meaning,
battling the violent inferno within never came easy.
All smothered as the prisoner of past,
the knight in me braves every vile bluster…..
but succumbs at the hands of the “fine player“.
Endeavors to gather itself again,
on its hemorrhaged feet…
just to end up falling on the scathed knees.

Time and again, it happened…
Time after time, it again would……..!!!
Yet, just a mere fact,
of being the perpetual warrior, confers the much requisite pulse,
makes up for the emotional paucity deep within,
and fills to brim, my tranquil depths !!


Regrets I’ve had a few, but very few to mention.
Promises I did make, to let the tears subside….
There is a door I have closed for the final time.
There is a mirror that has looked its last on me.
And like the uninhibited flowing river,
I would never cross the same path again !!!

Life comes a full circle, like always,
And I turn back, just to ponder….

If only,
I would’ve known that it’s alright to be myself.
If only,
I would’ve let my faith be bigger than my fears.
If only,
I would’ve been all ears to the soft whispers of the fathomless silence.
If only,
I would’ve heeded the fact that the past is gone and the future is not yet….

I know,
I would’ve breathed in life…..
And would’ve been madly alive !!!!

Out From The Deep...........

The day has drawn its curtains and called it quits,
The boisterous addressings have given way to the sound of silence,
The boastful exuberance of light has shown the white flag to evanescence of the dark,
And the beautiful loner up above basks in its eternal youth that fascinates the hearts and mind alike….

There I see an unknown realm, opening its wide chasm,
taking my fragile hands to adorn it with golden handcuffs,
promising galore to satiate my quest for life.
I stand motionless, terrified inside,
with eyes wide open and groping for fair weathers.
These befooled eyes, which find the boulevards ahead , a way to ultimate enchantment!!

Standing at the threshold of life ahead,
Where fantasy becomes the inseparable twin of reality,
I hear the birds chirp.
I find the breeze caress tender,
and let my trembling feet show me the path that beckons.

Transitory, the world is, and so was this unknown ecstasy.
No sooner, the mystic realm transforms to
the closed walls of a rustic Dungeon.
Those fairytale bracelets morphing into unbreakable, unforgiving shackles.
The sunny boulevards, into the labyrinth that knows no end.
The birds are now the creatures of night.

Feet remained stranded on the roads,
from where there was no turning back.
Where emotions slumber deep,
and the very human existence is besieged by vain perplexities.
Where ambiguity is used to conceal the truth,
and the container holds more prestige than the content itself.

Yet, all that could be done was to move on……
In the wild goose chase of the life that holds a promise.
That never lets down its seeker,
and opens the world of rainbow hues,
to cut the monotony of black and white.

I dragged my now-frail feet,
to take the step ahead.
to go beyond the shadows of the past.
Towards the divine,
that seeks its ultimate manifestation in me.


I fall.
Lips parted enough to facilitate breathing in and out.
Lie abandoned,
with the chronic drain of all that is left in my mortal.

Just as the Grim Reaper sights my flesh,
and moves forward to embrace….
The slight opening of my eyes and lips proclaim ex cathedra

“my cross is my medal; my scars beautify me….
And I adorn them with sheer grace.
I’ve drank the wine from the purest fountain,
and seen the sun crossing the horizons.
If life is the opera of unseen,
then I’ am its proud mistress.
LET GO………….!!!
The light of the day hallows my name…!!!”