Honey Soaked ....

The candles shone to their brightest delight. The subtle undertones were unfathomable as the lousy moon dragged its feet under the cozy blanket of dark clouds. The music could feel it coming in the air that went around unimpeded. As the petals shied away in the moist of the evening dew, the muddy waters of the pool, for once, gave up their innate unrest for a more eased out dusk. To hush down was so not in the remotest of natures of rustling leaves, and the only measure left was to let them take charge in the surmounting stillness. The mood was set for every star to step down at terra firma and feel the rush by itself.

That was essentially a drape that could never go wrong on a contour like hers. Those come-hither eyes dramatized by sleek stroke of kohl complemented the red of her dress to hilt. His black suit was just right for the night of quixotic rendezvous. Her penchant for flowers was met with serene ardor as he serenaded her with red tulips, which coyly smiled in her exuberant presence. As her untied hair was tossed nonchalantly by the light scented winds, he couldn’t help but realize how his pulse raced and heart skipped a beat – both at the same time. He was lanky tall; she, a petite young thing on a 2 inch heel. Yet, their eyes were no one’s slave in the free man’s land while engaging in a clairvoyant reverie.

As the velvet sky crooned exotica, it seemed time took a turn back for every moment that passed by. She blushed at every sight of his smile that was meant to delve somewhere deep inside. He loved the way her solitaire recited the untold saga of subtle sensuality. A dash of haunting sweetness in her feminine demeanor was far from classic anecdote that would sweep him off his feet, but amazingly, he found himself going weak all over. He was just another man she would meet across the streets, but wanted to know what about him exuded an aura that was getting inexplicably hard to resist, evermore. With every word that was being spoken over the mosaic shades of the candlelight, they sensed a connection- long since dormant, longing to be forged. It was like the sleeping vows that they had known verbatim, springing back with verve.

It was like a note from a beautiful oeuvre that breathed life of its own.

As the wine poured and glasses clinked, they knew – it was mean to be!

The beauty of a lonely....

It’s time to pull down the shades after day long toil.
And wave to the soothing moonbeam as the zephyr whispers by.
Those walking shadows do not throng the streets anymore,
and retiring to bed comes easy, where the sheets long for the third presence.

It’s just another house along the boulevard,
just another room in the house,
and yet another night in the room.

A night of moments, rendered weak and lost;
Of innate sensations gone astray…..
Because when the yearnings are left unspoken at the brink of nightfall,
You are this raging gush of passion so untamed!

This raw vehemence inside is a mean double- edged sword,
splitting the essence that lies bare in sheer submission.

It is the craving for that mountain wilderness in the whiff of your breath
that makes these eyes seek you even in the dark corners…
and call you out even as the words go unheard.

Night has fallen again, fallen hard.
Your thoughts come knocking at the forbidden doors of mind.
I wonder if you are there, still; I wonder if it were true.
And as the glow fades deep within,
It’s time to say a little prayer,
and turn off the lights!

LIFE - HALLOWED BE THY NAME !!

Life is neither a TEMPEST, nor a MIDSUMMER NIGHT’s DREAM.
It is the COMEDY OF ERRORS, to be lived AS YOU LIKE IT!

So, here I am – talking about LIFE! And unlike my previous posts, I’ll try keeping things SIMPLE here (on public demand!). Its been a good twenty years of lackadaisical dawdling on this planet; whiling away time by counting the “handful of” stars; following the clouds “moving” across the clear blue skies, listening to the age old fable of an old lady on the moon, relentlessly spinning yarns! A very short duration of enjoying twenty springs may not qualify me even as a novice logician to talk as big as the topic itself, but then, growing up steadily to the truth all along the journey has made me draw some infallible conclusions which can stand with all might, the test of the age old doctrines. If life would have been all about extrapolating its tints, tones and shades in Shakespearean sonnets, we would have painted our literary palette with all possible hues. If it would have been music, we would have played on! But not so surprisingly, life is much more than that. And are we complaining? Believe me, not the least. Even with all its sturm und drang, bringing to the lowest low and then throwing up in utmost ecstasy, it is made sure that we do not have any dull moment to dwell in. Conclusively, one thing constant about life is CHANGE, and that too instantaneous – It is indispensable. It is vital. It is fundamental. It is the verity that sustains life and forms its very essence. It is the raison d’ etre of the subsistence of all the heavens.

Call it struggle, call it duty, call it beauty, or if you please, call it mystery- life comes in all packages and names. But then, What’s in name? Thing which we call rose, would smell as sweet if called by some other name. (Thank you, Shakespeare, for coming to my rescue again and making things easier.) So, I prefer calling it an ADDICTION. My latest shovel-digging discovery about myself reveals my addiction to life. This soul-excavation exercise has indeed come a long way in bringing out the latent passion in me, a mere citation of which throws my grey cells (and all other cells, whatsoever) into action like a springboard. And presto! The spirit is all worked up!

For some, throwing back arms, listening to the rain, smelling the coffee beans may come easy. What is the use of such hypersensitivity? Why not take bitter with sweet and make merry? And if at all the need be, we still have the philosophers’ theologies thronging our book-shelves to give us company when we feel the need to pacify soul’s emotional and philosophical upsurge. Fine, if you want to take a rose-tinted view of life and be content with the shallow layer of phony pretence. But not when you want to be aware- aware of your motives, aware of your surroundings, aware of your and others’ needs, aware of those invisible and minute details which our worldly eyes ordinarily tend to overlook. To be aware, so as to bring meaning to the existence of otherwise aimlessly wandering creature. At times, when we are left stranded on the crossroads- wherein we have to decide as to which route to take and what course to follow; whether to stand up and question, or to shut up and comply- Life has answers to all these and more, only if one has the zeal to strip the glamour and see what lies underneath!

For all the experiences that affirm one’s belief that nothing can be labeled wrong or right, the assertion stands vindicated for reasons more than one. Restricting our vision to an insulated cocoon forces us to see the things in a more claustrophobic way. We perceive things and call them reality. It is when we come out of our self-imposed arrest from the cozy envelop and open our eyes to the light we realize that everything is equally bare naked under the blue sky and the shining sun. A daily event can force us to rethink our life and our beliefs. Some truisms that we’ve known since childhood don’t really take root until we face serious challenge to our identity. Once we tag something as right-wrong, good-bad, we lose our inherent ability to see the complete truth. We bring the entity from the divine pedestal, to a human realm, where authenticity of the same is decided by pre-existing chauvinism and prejudice which, in its wake of segregating “proper” from “improper”, “holy” from “sinful”, renders the soul’s search for higher knowledge as null and void. Who should decide what is legitimate and what is illegitimate? Can there be any absolute for something as relative as human life? Are mere words sufficient to describe the picture in totality? The straight answers escape man’s perception, and theoretical elucidations are too hyperbolic for human mind. Nothing it is, but a mere illusion, and nothing we are, but a part of it.

This brings me to a famous quotation by a scholar from some school of thought:

“We forget to LIVE life, because we are busy UNDERSTANDING it!”

Erudite indeed, and the thinker deserves the entire accolade for his word of wisdom. But unfolding the countless layers, questioning various mountains and hills to arrive at the hidden truth, has its own fascination which, by all means, is more consuming than any climax that physical world can possibly boast of. Its grip is beguiling; its mystique, enticing. Life would certainly prove to be more complex than the theory of relativity to a layman, when it is simpler than a child’s smile. It would definitely betray a conceited intelligentsia for all it cares, but would surrender to the humble valor of the diligent hunter. No monopoly of a few learned, the ardent seeker would never be left unsatiated. Yet the mystery would lose its meaning only to the worthy.

Knowing life is like knowing one’s own self- more than breathing in and breathing out. More than right or wrong, it’s about what we are and what we want to be. It’s about connecting to that realm, that sphere that one hears and talks about in long forgotten parables. It’s about people and moments. It’s about love and lovers. It’s about heart and heartbreaks. Those tears and smiles that count for the most valuable asset that a man keeps closest to his heart, and protects them even from himself, if the need be. It’s about all those times- good and not-so-good - that make for one’s past, and at times, render the present false. With all its uncertainty and unpredictability, life is never lifeless and monotonous. It plays its stroke well and throws its baton at you, just to make your well laid plan fall flat to the unexpected. Caught off guard? Well, that’s what life exceptionally good at! At times, we don’t know what is going to happen next. And believe me, its better that way!

Someday....I'll Be Born Again !!!

This time, the pulse goes a lil' faster...
Breath, a wee bit deeper,a sigh so prolonged...
an embrace, dwelling in the ocean of emptiness !!
For, the eyes close the window to the world for the soul to shine,
as the clock conspires to turn back time .


Well said, that the moon raises tides,
for it does no less than the same to my mortal.
The tides, otherwise, so lost deepin the frozen womb of sea of emotions.
The tides, which sail the boat to the shore,
now encompass the harbour in the tempest !!
The night stands upright and look into my eyes
to prod deep in the heart.
I seek answers to my blood,
knowing well that the questions themselves lack definition !!
I think , I search,
I lookout for, and I finally find.....
just to end up knowing
that this is not what I had to lay my hands on,
that the questions have long been changed !!!


Songs play in my mind, in ears alike.
A placid exterior shelters turbulent notions,
for, the flesh may have ripened,
yet the rawness of spirit remains !!
For, the walls may close in even in the heavenly cradle of free air.
Letting go seems tough, holding on is even more wretched,
for, like a weed in me, it grows !!


The light of the day lures me, bribes me,
to a fantasy, the truth of whose longevity is undisputed ,
for in my eyes, rests the dream that belongs to someone else.
But I dance to the tunes of chimes
for I see no illusion,
but a falling star to make a wish upon...
a songbird in the desserted desert.
This mirage would soon fade away,
the heart of my heart knows,
leaving nothing to quench the eternal thirst with.
Yet the trance remains,
and the beauty is all consuming as I lose myself !!


The dawn has not knocked yet....
the sun sleeps still in the clouds.
The last storke of night's moonbeam
whispers its last message before it bids adieu
" nothing is what it seems...
not waxing and waning, but the stillness and everlastingness of the past prevails ..."


In the silence of the rustling leaves
I listen to the rains,and wonder,
should I forget the past
and open my eyes to the beauty and smiles?
Should I kiss the bygones goodbye for what they were
and embrace the moments for what they are ??


In my solitude, I hear vibrant echos.
I hear the truth,and I hear it loud and clear...
for, it pronounces -
"Keep the Phoenix hope alive,
the ashes would soon spring the new embodiment !!"

Towards the call of self....my endless writhe for veracity !!

By the deserted banks of the silent river,
as the twilight touches up with the stars
and my absolute attendance is blurred to a reality,
more outlying and virtual ,
thoughts ‘bout the bygones and the times to come
rush to stampede my psyche.
And that lost eternity, that forgotten world,
still pregnant with emotions unbridled,
haul me like an ever engulfing quagmire.
Clutches and embraces me unyielding….
An embrace that I want to let go of ;
An embrace that incarcerates my own little hamlet
within this world.

This state of ceaseless ambivalence
never fails to play havoc in its own right.
I am wedged at two discrete paths, not even once treaded.
The sky is callously assiduous in its questioning…
The ground beneath these feet asks
if I even know the answers.
In the interim, time scribbles inexorably
on the pages of my life…..
like it does on the open books,
overlooking the text inside,
reducing my subsistence to that of an incongruous entity.

In an edgy craving for the story to unfold its meaning,
battling the violent inferno within never came easy.
All smothered as the prisoner of past,
the knight in me braves every vile bluster…..
but succumbs at the hands of the “fine player“.
Endeavors to gather itself again,
on its hemorrhaged feet…
just to end up falling on the scathed knees.

Time and again, it happened…
Time after time, it again would……..!!!
Yet, just a mere fact,
of being the perpetual warrior, confers the much requisite pulse,
makes up for the emotional paucity deep within,
and fills to brim, my tranquil depths !!


Regrets I’ve had a few, but very few to mention.
Promises I did make, to let the tears subside….
There is a door I have closed for the final time.
There is a mirror that has looked its last on me.
And like the uninhibited flowing river,
I would never cross the same path again !!!

Life comes a full circle, like always,
And I turn back, just to ponder….

If only,
I would’ve known that it’s alright to be myself.
If only,
I would’ve let my faith be bigger than my fears.
If only,
I would’ve been all ears to the soft whispers of the fathomless silence.
If only,
I would’ve heeded the fact that the past is gone and the future is not yet….

I know,
I would’ve breathed in life…..
And would’ve been madly alive !!!!

Out From The Deep...........

The day has drawn its curtains and called it quits,
The boisterous addressings have given way to the sound of silence,
The boastful exuberance of light has shown the white flag to evanescence of the dark,
And the beautiful loner up above basks in its eternal youth that fascinates the hearts and mind alike….

There I see an unknown realm, opening its wide chasm,
taking my fragile hands to adorn it with golden handcuffs,
promising galore to satiate my quest for life.
I stand motionless, terrified inside,
with eyes wide open and groping for fair weathers.
These befooled eyes, which find the boulevards ahead , a way to ultimate enchantment!!

Standing at the threshold of life ahead,
Where fantasy becomes the inseparable twin of reality,
I hear the birds chirp.
I find the breeze caress tender,
and let my trembling feet show me the path that beckons.

Transitory, the world is, and so was this unknown ecstasy.
No sooner, the mystic realm transforms to
the closed walls of a rustic Dungeon.
Those fairytale bracelets morphing into unbreakable, unforgiving shackles.
The sunny boulevards, into the labyrinth that knows no end.
The birds are now the creatures of night.

Feet remained stranded on the roads,
from where there was no turning back.
Where emotions slumber deep,
and the very human existence is besieged by vain perplexities.
Where ambiguity is used to conceal the truth,
and the container holds more prestige than the content itself.

Yet, all that could be done was to move on……
In the wild goose chase of the life that holds a promise.
That never lets down its seeker,
and opens the world of rainbow hues,
to cut the monotony of black and white.

I dragged my now-frail feet,
to take the step ahead.
to go beyond the shadows of the past.
Towards the divine,
that seeks its ultimate manifestation in me.


I fall.
Lips parted enough to facilitate breathing in and out.
Lie abandoned,
with the chronic drain of all that is left in my mortal.

Just as the Grim Reaper sights my flesh,
and moves forward to embrace….
The slight opening of my eyes and lips proclaim ex cathedra

“my cross is my medal; my scars beautify me….
And I adorn them with sheer grace.
I’ve drank the wine from the purest fountain,
and seen the sun crossing the horizons.
If life is the opera of unseen,
then I’ am its proud mistress.
LET GO………….!!!
The light of the day hallows my name…!!!”